So love, I hope you sleep tight tonight,
All I want is for you to be alright.
Dont second guess us,
Because I understand why you left us.
You broke my smile tonight.
Thinking of you in all white.
It hurt, but I realized how much I miss you.
I think that’s something I needed to remember,
But there is nothing I can do.
And I know you know that I am no longer yours.
And I cant lie, that Im not hers.
But baby, part of me will always be yours.
The tears on that tuxedo,
A memory only we know.
It’ll always be in the back of my mind, and I’ll always want one more time.
But baby, please,
Find your peace tonight.
Everything will be alright.
This summer has been a lot. My love life has been a weird mess. Lady couldnt handle her feelings and bailed. I turned down 13 and when I made up my mind she said our situation wouldnt work. I have no.idea what is going on with San Francisco. We had an amazing weekend and now we dont really talk. Now there is only B1200. It was kind of unexpected. It happened totally by surprise. I really am enjoying it though. Im tired of over thinking everything. I just want to enjoy this. Its all so complicated though. I know its not going to turn into anything. No matter how much I care. Im okay though. Its just all so fucking complicated. It’s a lot still. I mean. Three months ago I wouldnt have believed anything since could have possibly happened. Im glad it is. But the beginning still isnt easy. It kind of worries me. It crosses my mind so little. I almost forget the past three years have even happened. What if everyone is right? What if it just hits me again out of no where. Idk. Im just enjoying the first kisses and cuddling. On with life.
I cried on my way home the other night. It’s like, I want to be sad. I need to be sad. But I’ve already tired out all of the memories. I hate how quickly everything has changed. I can’t accept that it’s real. Not like this. Two months and my life has changed in just about every aspect. Is this even normal.
I’ve been bad. Today has been really bad. Im smoking. I’ve been disregarding my healthy habits. Im actually worried I wont mak it home tonight. Im regretting not leaving. My reasons for staying were shitty. Things are bad.